State-Journal.com - Chinese adoption worth it

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Photo By state journal/kelly mackeySusan Bass, center, a mother of four and a nurse at Frankfort Regional Medical Center watches as her son Brenden, 3, learns to sign at hearing therapy with Speech-Language Pathologist Debbie Tindall. Brenden has bilateral microtia and is originally from Lanzhou, China. Bass adopted Brenden in March 2007. He wears a bone conduction hearing aid, which gives him almost perfect hearing.

Susan Bass holds her daughter Mamie, 6, as Brenden, 3, runs up to give her a hug. Bass said she loves being a mother more than any of her other roles in life.

While Susan Bass was sitting in a doctor's waiting room with 3-year-old Brenden on her lap, another young boy ran by and shouted, "Mommy, I just saw a boy who was born without his ears!"

Susan hugged her son - whom she adopted from China in 2007 - and explained to the curious boy that Brenden was born without ear canals and wears a bone conduction hearing aid on a band around his head.

With his $4,000 hearing aid, Brenden can hear almost perfectly. And what he most often hears are the voices of the family who adopted him " especially that of his mom.

A mother's heart

Susan, who now works as a full-time nurse in the ICU at Frankfort Regional Medical Center, decided she wanted to adopt a special needs child when she was in nursing school. Nearly 20 years later, she and her husband, David Bass, found Brenden.

Around 10 days after his birth " most likely to poor, rural parents " Brenden was left on the doorstep of an orphanage in Lanzhou, China.

Small lobes took the place of his ears. Brenden's disability is called grade 3 bilateral microtia, which could possibly be corrected through surgery when he's older.

Because the Chinese government restricts families to one child, children with special needs are often left at orphanages.

"If they have special needs, they are often abandoned," Susan said. "They're still superstitious in the
rural areas. They think that a child with special needs has a demon or has been cursed."

After spending his first six months in a busy Chinese orphanage and then moving to foster care, Brenden was not learning to walk or talk and was losing his baby teeth to decay. At age 2, crying was still his primary way to communicate.

"By all indications,Brenden was well-loved by his foster family, but they lacked the resources necessary to help him," Susan Bass said.

Several months before Brenden's second birthday, Susan and David Bass had seen his picture and decided to adopt him. They were working through the International Assistance and Adoption Project to bring him to their home. They already had three children Mariah, 19, Jared, 16, and Mamie, 6, and decided there was room for another.

"I enjoy parenting more than anything I do," Susan Bass says. "There's something very rewarding about investing myself in the lives of others."

David Bass, who describes his wife as "an amazing mother," said he'll never forget the way she looked when she first held Brenden's picture.

"The first time she saw Brenden's picture, the look in her eyes and the way her heart melted for this little boy were incredible," he said.

From the photo, the Bass family wasn't sure if Brenden would ever hear, but they were going to do whatever it took to give him a better life.

Brenden's journey

Today, playing at his Frankfort home, attending school at Westridge Elementary or chasing Mamie around the sandbox at Juniper Hill Park, Brenden looks like the happiest of children.

"We're actually really lucky," Susan Bass said. "He has moderate hearing loss. With his hearing aid, it's almost perfect."

His pool of words is still significantly smaller than that of other children his age, but he's an expressive and inventive communicator. He talks and signs his way into every situation.

He is a far cry from the 2-year-old boy that David Bass traveled to pick up from China.

"When I first went over there (China), they took me on a tour of Beijing so I could learn about Chinese culture," he said.

"When they brought him to us " they do it a little differently over there, they don't even let you get you accustom to one another " they brought him into the (hotel) lobby and handed him to me and walked off. It was quite shock. For two days it was pretty rough but by the third day we were having a good ol' time."

"He's so bonded to us," Susan said. "It's almost as though we have had him since birth."

Debbie Tindall, Brenden's speech-language pathologist at Frankfort Regional Medical Center's Rehab Center, says she has high hopes for her patient. She says support from his family and his strong will help him overcome obstacles.

"It will serve him well in the long-run because he's very motivated," she said.

In fact, he's so motivated that he isn't afraid of ordering his older sister, Mamie, around. At a recent visit with Tindall, Mamie set up a parade of plastic animals while she was waiting for her brother to finish his exercises.

Like any younger brother, he grabbed a giraffe from the line, looked mischievously over his shoulder and plowed through the parade, knocking the animals about the room.

Mamie didn't mind.

Tindall is currently teaching Brenden to sign his name and speak individual letters. She also helps him with other words and concepts that Susan then reinforces at home.

"He's very bright," Tindall says.

Finding balance

Susan Bass says part of being an adoptive parent is making sure she gives equal time to her children.

Brenden requires a lot of extra time and constructive play as she teaches him to speak. She somehow finds that balance.

"I don't see him monopolizing my time," she says.

In fact, she recently found time to earn her critical care nursing certification, while working full time and pursuing her bachelor's at Indiana Wesleyan in Lexington.

The key to that balance is her husband. She and David Bass, a manager in the Frankfort Sears hardware and electronics department, use every free hour for their children.

"We alternate our schedules," David said. "We fit work around each other so we can mix and match. We work completely opposite shifts."

"Sure, it gets aggravating because you never see one another, but when we think about it, the positives outweigh the negatives."

Sometimes people ask Susan why she decided to spend thousands of dollars to adopt a little boy from China. Though special needs adoptions are usually faster and less expensive, they still range anywhere from $11,000 to $40,000. Brenden's adoption was just under $20,000.

When asked why, Susan smiles and answers, "I could buy things. I could buy a big house, more things, but when this life is over, I have the greatest satisfaction of investing my life into my children."