DEAR ABBY: I couldnt believe your response to the widow who wanted to participate in the throwing of the wedding bouquet. It is meant for single women only, not widows or women whove run through a legion of husbands. For goodness sake, is it too much to ask that only TRULY single women participate in this ritual? It amazes me that you sided with the writer. The daughter-in-law who objected was right on the money. The woman should have respected that, sat down and tried to remember that the wedding was not about her.
DEAR LAURIE F.: Thats exactly what the wounded widow did. She retreated to her table, and the wedding was no longer a happy celebration for her. I felt, and still do, that being allowed to join the throng to participate would have impinged on no one, and the daughter-in-law was out of line. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Good for you regarding the Texas widow! At my daughters wedding reception, my 80-plus-year-old widowed mother caught the bouquet and immediately shoved it into the hands of a 60-year-old widow. I wish you could see the video. What I think is wrong is letting anyone under 18 out there.
THE TEXAS WIDOW
DEAR ABBY: At my sons wedding, my 85-year-old widowed mother, who was walking with a cane at the time, got up and caught the bouquet. The man who caught the garter put it on my mom like she was a 25-year-old woman, and Mom blushed like a schoolgirl. We were all delighted for her. She died at the age of 92, and this is one of my fondest memories of my sons wedding.
In our golden years, we deserve to enjoy life as much as any young person. Please tell that Texas widow not to let anyone stop her from doing things that will give her pleasure.
DEAR ABBY: A dear friend of my mothers attended our wedding. She was 70 at the time, and brought her 80-year-old gentleman friend to the celebration. (Both had been widowed.) Whether it was quietly planned, I dont know, but she caught the bouquet, and he caught the garter. They were married within a year.
Whenever I see a video of other receptions, I remember that gracious and loving couple and my guests, who stood quietly and made only token motions toward the items.
DEAR ABBY: That daughter-in-law needs a sense of humor and to ease up a bit. Weddings are about celebrating family, love and happiness. She showed none of these when she chastized her mother-in-law. She owes the bride and her mother-in-law an apology.
DEAR ABBY: A woman in her 60s caught the bouquet at my wedding. The younger women didnt have a chance. Actually, TWO 60-year-old women fought over it. Its one of the most memorable memories from our reception. We have a great picture of the best man putting the garter on her. She was wearing knee-highs and granny glasses.