Teen working for neighbor may have done more than odd jobs

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DEAR ABBY: I think my grandson lives next door to me, but Im not sure. I cant sleep at night wondering and worrying.

About two years ago, my neighbor kept inviting my then- 18-year-old son over to help her do odd jobs while her husband was at work. He seemed happy to help out, and she always gave him some money for the jobs. A few months later, she and her husband announced they were expecting.

I work with this mans ex-wife, and she confided to me once that she never had children because he couldnt give her any. To me, this could mean that the husband knows hes not the father, or maybe that they used my son as an unintentional sperm donor. The little boy looks a lot like my son did at that age. Should I confront him about the affair and possible parenthood? He may be unaware that he fathered the child.

SUSPICIOUS

DEAR SUSPICIOUS: I dont know if confronting your son on the subject would be warmly received, but you are certainly entitled to discuss your concerns with your son and find out if they are well-founded. Whatever happens or doesnt happen after that is up to your son.

DEAR ABBY: My 12-year-old daughter was invited to a classmates birthday party today. When I asked for the details of the party, she told me it was a slumber party. Heres the kicker: The classmate in question is a boy!

As my shock dissipates, Im suddenly reminded that the times sure are a-changin, and that even younger parents like me need to brace themselves. (I am 32.) I dont consider myself oblivious, but boy, do I suddenly feel that way. I dont feel it is at all appropriate for my child, but Im interested in what you and your readers have to say about this.

PERPLEXED

DEAR PERPLEXED: The times may be a-changin, but they aint a-changin THAT much. Its the duty of a conscientious parent to do what is right for his or her child, even if it isnt a popular decision. By that, I mean that every family has different standards, and its up to the parents to enforce them. The excuse, But everyone else is doing it, does not mean that your child must. Remember that when the pressure is on, and it seems the whole world is going crazy. Itll keep you balanced.

DEAR ABBY: I am a professional man in my early 40s. When I was in my late teens, I started losing my hair. By the time I was 22, I was almost completely bald.

Someone suggested that I get a wig, so I did. I have been wearing it for years. Now, however, Im uncomfortable with the wig. I think its obvious that its not my own hair, and Im self-conscious about it.

Id like to stop wearing the wig, but I wonder what my co-workers will think. Also, my mother tells me that my head is shaped a little funny. But I feel like a fraud when Im wearing the darn thing. What do you suggest?

BALD IN BALTIMORE

DEAR BALD: If ever there was a time when bald was in, it is now. And thats to your advantage. My advice to you is to have a coming out party, invite your friends and co- workers, and attend the way God made you. Im betting the only reaction youll get is the comment, What took you so long?

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